Chili Smothered Over Lazy Tofu, Downed with Rice

Do you like tofu? Are you lazy?

Tofu is obviously one of the world's great ingredients, but I mean... making it at home can undeniably be a rough project. This dish - lazy tofu - dramatically simplifies the process by nixing the whole tofu-making part.

LAZY TOFU

* Soybeans, 200g

* Water, 1L

* Hearty green vegetable, e.g. baby napa, collards, or kale, 750g

* Lard (or your oil of choice), 2 tbsp. For frying

* Seasoning:

Salt, 1 tsp

Sugar, 1 tsp

Chicken bouillon powder (鸡粉), 2 tsp

MSG (味精), ½ tsp

White pepper powder, ¼ tsp

1. Rinse the soybeans, then soak with cool water in the fridge overnight.
2. Transfer the soaked soybeans to a blender, and blend with the one liter of water. You will likely need to work it in two batches. Set aside.
3. Boil your vegetable of choice until completely soft and a chopstick can easily poke through it. For baby napa, this takes about five minutes. Rinse with cool water, and once cool enough to handle, squeeze out the excess liquid. Transfer the vegetable over to a chopping board and finely mince (~1/2 cm). Squeeze the minced vegetable one more time for good measure, and set aside.
4. In a wok (or any carbon steel, cast iron, or non-stick vessel), over a high flame toss in the lard (or oil). Give it a swirl, then add in the blended soybeans. Get everything up to a rapid boil.
5. You will need to boil this for at least ten minutes to cook out the lectins in the soybeans. If it is reducing too fast, add in a bit more water as you go. Stir quite often, so as to avoid sticking. Once the mixture is thick and starting to ‘burble’, swap the flame to medium and add in the chopped vegetables. Cook for 1-2 minutes, and season.

CHILI OIL TOPPING

* Smoked larou (腊肉) - or - country bacon, 20g - or - bacon, 50g

* Oil, preferably caiziyou, 1/3 cup

* Garlic, 2 cloves, minced

* Ginger, ½ inch, minced

* A fermented chili sauce – e.g. Laoganma ‘Pickled Chili’ (糟辣剁椒), Hunan ‘Chopped Chili’ (剁椒), Sambal Oelek – 3 tbsp, minced

* Optional, for color: a red, fragrant chili powder – e.g. Shaanxi Qinjiao (秦椒), Kashmiri chili powder, Gochugaru – ½ tbsp

* White pepper powder, ¼ tsp

* Dark Chinese vinegar (陈醋/香醋), 1 tsp

1. If working from ‘standard’ western bacon, slice it into ½ cm pieces and add to your wok together with a couple tablespoons of water. Boil the water away over a high flame, then swap the flame to medium-low. Cook the bacon pieces until crispy, and the grease has rendered out. Evaluate the oil – this amount of bacon will likely have rendered out about two tablespoons, so supplement with four more tablespoons and continue the recipe.
2. If working from larou or a country bacon, finely mince and fry in the ~1/3 cup of oil for about two minutes.
3. Still on a medium-low flame, add in the garlic and the ginger and fry until fragrant, ~1 minute. Add in the chili sauce, and fry for ~2 minutes, or until the oil is stained. Add in the optional chili powder, and after a quick fry, season with the white pepper and the vinegar.

CHILI OIL TOPPING, VEG VERSION

* Oil, preferably caiziyou, 1/3 cup

* Garlic, 2 cloves, minced

* Ginger, ½ inch, minced

* A fermented chili sauce – e.g. Laoganma ‘Pickled Chili’ (糟辣剁椒), Hunan ‘Chopped Chili’ (剁椒), Sambal Oelek – 3 tbsp, minced

* Optional, for color: a red, fragrant chili powder – e.g. Shaanxi Qinjiao (秦椒), Kashmiri chili powder, Gochugaru – ½ tbsp

* Zhacai (榨菜), Sichuan Preserved Vegetable, 40g (half pack)

* White pepper powder, ¼ tsp

* Dark Chinese vinegar (陈醋/香醋), 1 tsp

1. Fry the garlic and the ginger in the 1/3 cup of oil over a medium-low flame, until fragrant, ~1 minute. Add in the chili sauce, and fry for ~2 minutes, or until the oil is stained.
2. Add in the Zhacai and the optional chili powder, fry for ~30 seconds. Season with the white pepper and vinegar.